Monday, May 14, 2012

Coincidence? I don't think so.


Enjoy todays blogging and don't forget to comment! :) I love to hear your thoughts and views or maybe you have questions, things you would like to hear more about.


Where it all started


I have been able to see and hear spirit since I was 10 years old. My grandfather, Reg, came to my room the night he died. I talked to him from then onwards and still till this day have not had the chance to to tell my dad that his dad was the first spiritual connection I had.  


I always lived in my own little world you could say. I talked to who people would think is thin air. I would talk spiritually on my way to school or whilst kicking my soccer ball round in my own back yard and most of all at night in my room with the sheets over my head as this would make me feel safe. Most times I would talk to Reg, but sometimes there would be others, they were harmless but because I didn't know them I felt a bit safer with something over me. I would laugh a lot at Reg as he would be silly with his hat. He would show me stuff that was to come out in reality later, some stuff many years later and yes I still talk to him now. In High School I had so much "life experiences" going on that I shut off a lot of my spiritual side, I had to be "here on earth" so to speak, to go though them. I opened back up again in my twenties. I have always had death around me in so many ways you would be shocked as even sometimes it was unbelievable to me. 


What do I mean by unbelievable you ask, well....To explain this I can only do so by giving some of my very own personal details and remember if names are needed they will be changed for the privacy of my clients and others that have been a part of my personal life.



Coincidence? I don't think so.

 

So my first long term relationship was 3 years and my partner at the time, had previous to me, lost a baby. We use to go to the cemetery and visit his sons grave and I remember even then knowing the baby was a happy and very safe but I never said anything to my partner about what I knew. I kept this side of my life very shut off to anyone else, even my family. The relationship ended and I spent the next two years on my own.


My next relationship I meet at the time of her grieving a resent lost of first her sister (suicide) and then her father (brain hemorrhage) two deaths two weeks apart from each other. I did what anyone would have, gave love and support. I felt the presence of both of them around often in the first 2 years especially. I would always tell my partner that they are safe and are with you when ever you need them. I have never meet such an amazingly strong person who coped with the losses so well. As with the previous relationship, I also in this one use to go with my partner to the cemetery. I would sit by the head stone and talk "in my mind" to her dad, I would thank him for the blessing of being a part of his family and send him loving thoughts, he would always say, I am safe, please look after my girl. He would show me pictures of his work place and old photos that I later came across in the family home. I never talked all the time with him, he would only show up when he really felt he needed to, when we would visit his grave or when he was in a dream of my partners and when she would wake up and tell me, he would be beside me telling me why and I would speak his words to her, saying maybe he was just trying to tell you......

I still never felt I could tell her as I figured she had been through enough and adding this to it could go either way. It was too much and I wasn't wanting any more hurt for her or for myself to be honest. What if she just thought I was crazy.


Within this relationship I also had a family loss of my own, my other grandfather Les. He was very sick for many years and we were happy for him to finally get peace. He was brought home for us to see him and I figured people might find it strange if I didn't go in to the room and see him (even though I already could) I stood above his body looking at him, and talking to him as he was standing on the other side of the coffin, smiling, looking at himself to. I never spoke a word of it to anyone, again fearing to come off being a little bit to weird. I figured my mum would get it....but again, a very hard time to just blurt it out. Of course I was still very sad and I cried many tears that day for the thought of him not being here with my family, it's a physical loss, a leaving of this world and on to the next, something very hard to watch any family go though and believe me, I have watched many and it never gets any easier watching a family loose someone they love.


The ending of that relationship came and a new one that began almost 7 months later. Becky was a a lovely person, kind hearted and in her eyes you could see her pressing wants for a better life, the need for someone to show her love, and a very confused girl looking for herself, who was she? That wasn't just becky, that was me too. Becky's dad committed suicide, which left her drinking and doing drugs to cover the pain and unanswered questions of why.  I hadn't learnt the difference between empathy and sympathy so I was most happy to jump in and join the drinking and drugs to cover up my life troubles and to "god only knew how" help becky in some way. I had become the rescuer. I stopped drinking and drugging after a while and even managed to help becky stop the drinking and drugging for a short time too. I never told her about some times I would see her dad. She was younger then me and so I felt I was however free to express my belief in the spiritual ways, just not telling her fully what I could do. The time again came for us to go separate ways as I was again about to meet my next relationship.


So I meet beth and we just hit it off but again was to find out three days after meeting her that her dad died. Committed suicide. As you can imagine, I started to panic a bit. I again was "being there" as anyone would be but I had my thoughts. Why me! Again?? This was to be the third time now. I was to go through a relationship like this. All different in their own styles of grieving and I learnt a lot! but really?  Recap - I meet them all in their grieving stages, I hadn't meet a dad yet, all of them had suicide connected, even two of the fathers that committed suicide the same way, via hanging. Really! again!? Unbelievable!! Am I some sort of bad luck for these people! holly crap! Why always in their grieving stage, and around a death? Is it always going to be like this?? 


After a time I was able to talk to beth about what I could see. I was able to express what I could do, talk to her dad for her and man did things take a major turn from then on. She believed me! I found people I could open up to, I did readings for people, friends, family and work mates. Connections were coming to me, meeting people like minded, not everyone thought I was crazy! It was amazing. I felt freedom of a sort that I cannot explain. It was like I finally accepted my gift for what it was, something I could be proud of and really help people with. I opened up more freely.


So as you see, death has always been a big part of my life in the most random of ways, I am use to it, and there is always a bigger picture to everything we are doing in one moment. 


I hope you have enjoyed this blog. Be pack soon with some of the experiences I've had while giving readings.


Love xx

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About Me

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Auckland, New Zealand
My name is Ange and I am an Auckland based Psychic Medium who is a down to earth person just like you, who has simply been blessed with the ability to communicate with those existing on ‘the other side’. I am a happy go lucky kind of person just wants to share my thoughts with you. I love hearing others opinions and having great conversations about views on Mediumship and what it means to you. If you are interested in a reading you can visit my website at www.preciousmessages.co.nz